Only in America could an event where people are able to eat unlimited amounts of food, drink a plethora of beer, and spend the day at one of the most iconic stadiums in the country make people unhappy, but…sigh…they were there.

The complainers.
The fight starters.
The standing-in-line texters who didn’t move quickly enough and the line-cutters who hopped in front of them and the line waiters who howled in protest.

I am, of course, talking about Burgers and Beer — an LA institution that demands you show up hungry and HAPPY!

On Saturday, the other half and I had the great privilege of going to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, where the event took place. I had a speaking gig downtown that morning, and (full disclosure), had press passes for both of us, so it was a no-brainer to go.

The LA Weekly puts on several of these food festivals each year (Tacolandia, Cookie Con, The Essentials…) and they are one of the greatest things about this city. As a girl who has a tiny appetite, but wants to taste every item on the menu whenever I go out, this is my jam. And here’s a confession — I like that the lines are long!

It takes me a while to eat each morsel, and I need a bit of time to digest between, so this works out perfectly. Grab a plate from one stand, go get in the next line, eat while inching forward, be ready for the next bite by the time you get there.

Every now and then, take a break to grab a drink (if not a brewki fan, there are still plenty of water stands and other drink sponsors, including Honest Tea and Hubert’s Lemonade). And no one under 21 was admitted — no one! The only children were the people behaving like children.

The weather was perfect, the parking was overpriced, the lines for burgers were long and slow-moving, the lines for beer were short and fast (probably because beer stands outnumbered burger stands two-to-one and it takes a lot less time to pour a beer than grill a burger), the live music was GREAT and the crowd was really friendly. Except for the few who weren’t.

I get it. Some people thought it was too pricey, but c’mon — it’s all the burgers you can eat and beer you can drink for the price of one burger and two beers at most of these restaurants (with tax and tip).

Some people drank too much, but mostly they just seemed to fall over and be funny to watch.

Some people were prepared to be Line Police, even when not called for, and to all of them I say, watch this (and appreciate the irony of who is in it):

Now, spend ten minutes reminding yourself how blessed life is for anyone with the resources and ability to read this.

Here is my thought process whenever my happiness might be challenged by costs, crowds and crankiness:

• I’m alive
• My body parts function
• I don’t live in a war zone
• I’m safe
• I’m fed
• Life is good

Everything else is gravy. On a really tasty burger!

For me, the best burger of the day was Slater’s 50/50, without equal.

A good second was Belcampo’s lamb burger.

And it’s always nice to see LA’s finest keeping the drunks from hurting themselves…